Thinks happen

Things ain't what they used to be. (In fact, they never was.)
The Profile (more than you really wanted to know) is here.

Hello Kiddies. This is your uncle Steve with another bedtime story.

Once upon a time in the land of Boop-Bop-Sh-Bam there lived a little girl named Goldilocks.

One day Goldilocks’ mother said, "Honey you can sit the next set out in the back yard if you promise not to goof off and get lost."

“Mommio,” said Goldie, heading for the yard, “this is the place.”

“Crazy,” said her mother, returning to her household chores.

Well, for a while little Goldilocks was content to play in the back yard but finally she became …uh, bored, and decided to see a bit of the world.

Wandering out through the back gate, she soon found herself in a deep dark forest. In no time she was hopelessly lost and her terror mounted, as she perceived that it was getting quite dark.

Suddenly, in the distance Goldilocks saw a light flickering in the darkness and with hopes high she ran toward it. The light, she soon learned came from a strange little house in the middle of the forest. A house she had never seen before. Fearfully she knocked on the door. And getting no answer from the bar tender she entered.

Inside the house she saw three chairs. “Bless my soul,” said Goldie, “the Three Suns must be working this spot.”

She next spied three steaming bowls of soup on a table. “This joint must have been raided,” she said. “Looks like everybody cut out.”

Sampling the soup, she learned that the largest bowl was very hot, the next bowl was very cool, and the littlest bowl was just right. Naturally she chose the “cool” bowl.

Feeling a bit weary, she then walked up stairs and found a bedroom with three beds in it.
“Ah, these dressing rooms on the road,” said Goldie said to herself, “are the lowest.”

Then, drowsy, she tried all three beds and finally lay down upon the smallest and fell fast asleep.

Shortly thereafter the downstairs door banged open and in walked three bears.

(Sniff, sniff) “I smell Arpege,” said the Mama bear to her mate. “Gus you’ve had a dame here!”

“Ah, yer outa yer skull,” said the Papa Bear, “although it does uh… look as if someone had eyes for the soup over there.”

“I’m hip,” Said the Mama Bear, “and Dig! The upstairs bedroom door is open.”

“Hey, wordsville,” said the Baby Bear, “this whole thing is real nervous!”

“Let’s fall upstairs;” said the Papa Bear, “find out what the bit is.”

So saying, the three bears climbed the stairs and walked into the bedroom where Goldilocks lay sound asleep.

“Hey,” said the Papa Bear, “Somebody’s been makin’ it in my bed!”

“There’s been a scuffle in my pad too,” said the Mama Bear.

“Er, I don’t like to start idle gossip, “said the Baby Bear, “but if you’ll take it from the top, you’ll dig that there’s a chick in my sack right now.”

“So there is!” said the Papa Bear, shaking Goldilocks gently. “Uh… baby wake up! You better check with the desk clerk.”

Goldilocks rolled over and mumbled sleepily, “Jack, don’t bug me, I’m beat.”

“Nutty,” said the Papa Bear, “but you better call GAC, they’ve booked you into the wrong room.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said goldilocks, perceiving her error at last, “Forgive me for coming on so square.”

And so the three bears took her downstairs and showed her the way to go home. And Little Goldilocks never again disobeyed her mother.

Sometimes though, in the spring, she uh… looks through the latest Downbeat to see where the trio’s are playin’, y’know.

Written and performed by Steve Allen (Brunswick9-80228)

If you have not heard this performed, you have my sincerest sympathy.

Good things seem to come in three's, originally uploaded by anyjazz65.