The Story Behind the Photograph - Honor Knightly

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This is thought to be the only surviving picture of Honor Knightly (aka “Satin”) the elusive department store heiress and stenographer for the Kairian Luncheon Club. She was quite fond of changing clothes and of gentlemen standing in doorways to avoid the rain.

Thorne Smith thought very highly of her but she still faded into obscurity behind Cosmo Topper and the ghost-dog, Oscar (or "Neil" if you've seen only the TV or Movie Version).

Honor became known as a fashion-plate and clothes horse to those who knew her at the shelter. She spent most of her leisure time, which was most of her time, removing address labels from subscription magazines and learning French Toast.

She worked part time as a lab assistant at a sperm bank but was fired eventually for combining specimens to save space. “They all look the same!” The sperm bank gave her a handsome “retirement” package on the condition that she would not discuss her employment with anyone.

Her father, department store tycoon and co-inventor of knee-high panty-hose, left her a comfortable income. Not needing to work for a living then, she was able to spend most of her time with her first love, trying on hats at the local charity shop.

Late in life she bought a very rural home on the plains in western America and lived well into this century. From her home, she managed a successful business selling thousands of prairie dogs on eBay, believing them to be chinchillas. While she often had to refund the original purchase price to disappointed (and surprised) eBay customers, she amassed a fortune in deposit interest at a small local bank where the funds were temporarily held.

Being rich, she of course died under very mysterious circumstances. Controversy surrounded the local coroner’s report which stated Honor died of prolonged exposure to boredom. After the conspiracy theories began to dim, the coroner was seen wearing Honor’s socks and the whole furor started up again. Rumors persist to this day (nearly a month later) that she is one of the three people buried at Fort Sumner in William H. Bonney’s grave.
(Source: Wackipedia (King Jake's edition), page four or five.)